I know it’s been a couple of months since I’ve last posted. It’s been wonderfully busy but quite difficult too, and it’s time to fill you guys in.
Since first leaving MAC because of a prolonged fibro flare up, it took me a number of months to start getting back to feeling somewhat normal again. One task in particular that I challenged myself with was to completely clear out my bedroom by September, meaning sorting through clothes, shoes, bags, makeup, books, stationary, EVERYTHING. It took me the guts of 6 weeks to get through it all, BUT I DID IT! There was a lot of it which had to be done sitting down and some days when I only had the energy for half an hour of work. I was still dealing with the same flare up, even though it had somewhat eased. I hadn’t accomplished anything in so long, so it was a huge deal for me to know I had done it all by myself! I know to most people it seems like a task that could be completed in 2 or 3 days, but to me it was more than that. One challenge down!
As some of you already know, I began a course in secretarial admin with legal and medical studies. I was so excited to start this course back in September because I finally felt like I was back to being a member of society and doing something useful with my life again after being unable to work for almost six months. It was difficult, especially getting to college during rush hour times and having to stand on the bus because all the seats were taken, every single day. There were mornings where I silently cried and hid my face behind my scarf because I was in so much pain, but I couldn’t possibly ask someone for a seat because I “didn’t look sick” and I was too embarrassed. But I got through it because going to college made me feel normal again so at the time and in my head, it was worth the 45 minutes of excruciating standing, along with other aspects of college life that I pushed myself through. Since then, I have learned that my body can only deal with so much. Putting myself in painful situations because of attempts to do normal things is NOT okay.
Another experience most of you saw tonnes of photos of on my social media, was the trip to Asia that Alex and I had been planning and organising for almost two years. Unfortunately it came at a time when I was still experiencing some parts of the previous flare up, but it didn’t stop us! We road tripped our way through Japan and then flew to Malaysia (which I’ll be writing a series about soon!) as we had planned. During this trip, I began to have another flare up which really took it’s toll on me. We had planned this when I was a lot more stable and still working, but unfortunately it happened under different circumstances and being unwell during our time away was something that I couldn’t help.
When we returned home to Ireland, I became even more unwell, and had to make the very difficult decision after not being able to attend classes to discontinue my studies at college. With flare ups, they can take weeks or even months to cease (as previously mentioned above) and so I knew that if I continued, I would fall behind because of my inabillity to attend classes.
So for now, I am routinely taking my pain killers, anti inflammatories and other medications trying to stabilise the pain that I’m experiencing. I am keeping myself hydrated, well fed and constantly wrapped up in blankets with hot water bottles glued to my hips. I am stretching when I wake up and before I sleep at night. I am trying to get myself back to a state of normality, whatever that means.
I really want people to understand what Fibromyalgia is and how it affects people on a daily basis, and I hope that through these little insights, you guys can begin to grasp what people with invisible illnesses go through. I am absolutey open to answering any questions that you might have, so please feel free to message me.
– S.G. x